i’m using again
this time, it’s the idea of you
the longing for you
the countless ways i reconstruct the truth to explain why this time,
this time, it will make sense.
this time, the pieces of the puzzle that is you&me,
warped from so many prior such attempts…
this time, these pieces will fit together.
and this repetitive delusion will be just what i need
to fill the void
to serve as distraction
to lull me in to sedation
just long enough to side step the reality of living in pain…
until i am forced to face, once again,
the crippling inadequacy
of my own humanity