i’m using again

this time, it’s the idea of you

the longing for you

the countless ways i reconstruct the truth to explain why this time,

this time, it will make sense.

this time, the pieces of the puzzle that is you&me,

warped from so many prior such attempts…

this time, these pieces will fit together.


and this repetitive delusion will be just what i need

to fill the void

to serve as distraction

to lull me in to sedation

just long enough to side step the reality of living in pain…

until i am forced to face, once again,

the crippling inadequacy

of my own humanity



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