missing.

i’m starting to forget you
your smile,
your smell

the way your skin feels on mine
the way different parts of you feel
inside different parts of me

i know now
we did the best we could,
you and i.
two lost souls
seeking to shore up

i still fantasize about…
everything
with you

i say we’re incompatible,
that we want different things
that who i’m discovering i am
couldn’t be further from the person you appear to be,
or appear to need

i’ve fallen in love with the you i’ve constructed
from various moments in time
snapshots of a love affair,
collaged together to form a whole

a whole that does not exist
in this place or time

but maybe this ache
this ache that persists despite this…
incompatibility
just means i’m holding space for those parts of each of us
that do not exist in this place or time,
to come together once again-
formless,
boundless
one.

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