conflicted.

and there are moments i feel i could just burst open,
spilling all the contents of my soul
ecstatic love,
golden light,
rushing forth from within

sometimes it feels as though i’m about to realize something profound,
that it will all make sense right away,
that the missing piece i’ve been searching for will fall in to place,
securing some previously elusive comprehension of who i am.

i long to be wild,
i long to be open,
and free…

and yet,
i’m tethered.
not in a grounded way,
not anchored to my core,
but bound to lies of perfection,
and the path to worthiness

i want to abandon myself to the wind,
to bask unabashedly in the glow of the moon and the stars,
i want to know home with the earth beneath my feet,
and yet i can’t seem to break away from the chains of fixed beliefs
and ways of being

i’ve got one foot off the edge,
while my hands are tied.

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