uncertain.

she cries because we left her
and yet –
the pain that burns within
is the only thing
illuminating
the path back to the core

wouldn’t it be nice
if i always knew
how to keep her safe
how to make her whole

patterns of regret
repeated without thought
it was how i was taught
and the groove’s well worn

sometimes i do not understand…
the next step on the path is not in view
and all i feel
is fear
and loneliness

i cannot seem to separate
from the separateness
for it is the deafening ache
that leads me back home

this pain is sacred,
this pain is holy
this pain is the process
my personal alchemy

calling it forth,
witnessing,
allowing it to course
burning my veins
devouring all that no longer serves,
i can be renewed once more

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