on showing up.

“…you gotta show up if you wanna be seen…”  The Avett Brothers*

at some point or another, if you’re spending time in the rooms of 12-step programs, you’ll hear someone talking about “showing up.” invariably, you’ll notice these two words elicit nods – of acknowledgment, of identification, of approval. as addicts and alcoholics, showing up most likely became an issue for most of us. showing up to work on time, or at all, showing up to family functions, showing up to the shower. whether incapacitated physically by our substance(s) of choice or the aftermath thereof, chances are if you were hoping for us to be around, we weren’t. right ? Continue reading “on showing up.”


a thank you note.

dear resistance –

its due time i looked you square in the eyes and said ‘thank you.’ i’ll admit, it hasn’t been easy to know you, to see you, to hear you. oftentimes, i do none of those things and instead plow willfully forward, determined to escape your grips, which i’ve been taught to deeply fear. Continue reading “a thank you note.”

on healing.

i used to believe that healing required some sort of white light, come to Jesus, lighting bolt experience. something that induced an instantaneous overhaul of one’s core beliefs. that in order to truly heal from any kind of trauma, real or imagined, i’d have to become some sort of emotional archaeologist, prying at every artifact of things gone wrong from long ago, sending it back to the lab for analysis, dissecting every associated memory until a root cause had been sussed out, and my resulting theory had been given a sign-off by both a trusted professional and a trusted friend.

Continue reading “on healing.”

on becoming.

so lately i’ve been having these intense reactions to the spiritual milieu. or, at least aspects of it. players in it.

it feels like the spiritual market these days is inundated. so many people with a message, the message. the key to success, to unlocking your heart, to unblocking whatever part of you is that last sticking point to “IT”…your great success…your foothold in the path of “THE” way.

and i am calling bullshit. Continue reading “on becoming.”